If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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