So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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