I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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