i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
