i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
too bad you live with your parents still
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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