A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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