i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just want nice things and good sex
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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