haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize