Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
