bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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