Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
