I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
