I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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