I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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