Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
