She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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