dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's shark week go big or go home
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
