i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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