I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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