I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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