Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
