White coat. Heels.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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