The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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