I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
