PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize