dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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