I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize