i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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