Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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