I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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