I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
