I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
