they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
3 2 1 whiskey
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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