also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
