Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
