it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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