Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
