I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
