Quick, to the slutcave!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We were destined to go to rehab together
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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