Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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