he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
