That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
