He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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