so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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