I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
