saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Someone shit on the floor
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
