508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize