If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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