I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
