i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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