Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
