Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
