I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
