i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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