Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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