Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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