she sounds like chewbacca in bed
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
