I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
