Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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