So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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