Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
