Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
you never un-have a 4some
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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